Meeting and Mating

A recent survey on Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think About Marriage exploded these popular myths:

long-term exclusivity is a fiction.

the introduction of sex is necessary in order to sustain a fledging or struggling relationship.

the sexual double standard is inherently wrong and must be resisted by any means.

boys will be boys. That is, men can’t be expected to abide by the sexual terms that women may wish to set.

porn won’t affect your relationships.

everyone else is having more fun than you are.

sex need not mean anything.

marriage can always wait.

moving in together is definitely a step toward marriage.

It seems like the Bible's guidelines for sex in marriage are not so old fashioned after all.

Why re-weddings are good

This weekend a couple in our church who’ve been married forty-one years renewed their marriage vows. The reason was two-fold: forty-one years ago they were married in court and on top of that they were both not Christians. Today she has been converted for many years and has prayed faithfully for her husband. A few months ago he too entered Jesus’ Kingdom.

So they renewed their vows in front of the church and we were all very encouraged. In fact, I think this was the first wedding ceremony that I’ve officiated that I can say that the couple knew exactly what they were doing! The wedding couple have a disabled son and have been through their fair share of hard times. For them to promise to love and care for each other “in prosperity and distress” and “in sickness and in health” was especially meaningful.

We were reminded that the Bible says that marriage is a present, a promise and a picture.

A present: Marriage is a present from God for our joy and good. Marriage is not a human idea created by a theological symposium or brainstorming workshop. Therefore we cannot change or alter it, but must respect and treasure it.

A promise: In our version of the marriage ceremony the couples say “I will”, not “I do” because they are making promises for the future, not simply stating what may be true at the preset.

A picture: Ultimately marriage is a picture of Jesus relationship with his people. Jesus is the best bridegroom who sacrifices all for his bride, the church. The reunion in the future in the new heavens and new earth between Jesus and his people is often referred to as a wedding banquet in the bible.